


Despair-Hazed School Life

by harunai



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Accidental Murders, Actually not accidental, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chapter 1 is partially composed of Saihara's thoughts, Fixing a time loop, Kagerou Days AU, M/M, Momota is probably OOC, NDRV3 Spoilers, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Ouma dies over and over, Please correct me if I messed up what Himiko says, Spoilers for all of NDRV3 pretty much, Suffering, Suicide, Time Loop, Twoshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-09-19 09:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9434318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harunai/pseuds/harunai
Summary: It's the same thing, over and over.There's no way he can save him.~KAGEROU DAYS AU!~





	1. Saihara's Loop

**Author's Note:**

> It's a Kagerou Days AU, whaddup mofos
> 
> Why are you people asking for Kaitouma
> 
> Enjoy these two suffering and watch me write more death than I have before
> 
> Also the canon divergence tag is because EVERYTHING IS GETTING DEADER

Saihara was walking down the hall. Aimlessly, with no real destination, until he heard a mingled set of yells. Ouma Kokichi, and Momota Kaito. One of them was his boyfriend.

...Wait. Ouma just cried out in pain.

With his walking speed up to a sprint, Saihara pried open the door, and saw Ouma with a knife in his abdomen, being dragged over to... _oh god momota is that a hydraulic press what are yOU DOING STOP-_

He couldn't will himself to stop Momota, as horrible as that sounded. It was like he was attached to his semi-hiding spot, forced to watch Momota drag his boyfriend to the press, and unceremoniously throw him onto it.

Momota was walking towards the activation switch now. The smug bastard was grinning. "After this, the mastermind'll be dead, and we can all leave!" That finally snapped Saihara back, and he charged at the astronaut. "STOP!"

Unfortunately, upon tackling the other male, they both went flying for the switch. Even after Momota had been pinned down... he could still reach up and activate it.

By the time the detective had gotten up and started to sprint to pull Ouma out, it was too late, even after he was _right there and could have saved him-_

**"SHUUICHI! RUN AWAY-"**

**WHAM.**

He barely managed to block his face with his arms in time to stop the blood from getting on it, but... when he pulled his arms down, he was positive this was a nightmare.

_There was nothing left of him but blood, and a leg that didn't exactly make it in fully. Ouma Kokichi was dead, and he couldn't save him, coULDN'T SAVE HIM-_

Momota winced and covered his ears, as Saihara broke into screams of despair. _I COULD HAVE SAVED HIM IF I'D JUST BEEN THERE IN TIME-_

The ringing in his ears grew louder, as the world went to white.

* * *

Saihara shot up in his bed. "...Was that all a nightmare?" He checked the clock on the nightstand. The same date. Good. "That's a relief... I wonder how Ouma-kun is doing."

He didn't have to wonder much more, as a disturbingly familiar alarm went off.

"A body has been discovered! After a short period of investigation, a Class Trial will commence!"  
_...Oh no._

-

Of course it had to be him. Of COURSE it had to be Ouma, lying dead on the floor in front of the remaining survivors.

They said it was poison that did him in. He had a gut feeling they were right.

...

No dead person should look that peaceful.

Saihara wished he could have been there to see who killed him. To turn back time and undo it.

The world went white again, just like... his nightmare...

* * *

Saihara woke up a third time, sprawled against the wall.

He was aware of what this was now. He was intentionally looping time to keep Ouma alive.

His boyfriend had died twice before. He was going to make sure Ouma couldn't do anything stupid and get killed in this timeline.

Oh, here he comes now.

"Hello, Saihara-chan!" That same playful smile. That same unknowing smile. "Hello, Ouma-kun. Where are you off to?" A thinking look crossed the leader's face, before he grinned. "I'm going to meet with Yumeno-san. She wanted to show me how some of her tricks work, after so long!"

...One of those tricks would end up killing Ouma, he knew it. "Can I accompany you? I've wanted to see behind the scenes, too."

Thankfully, his boyfriend didn't catch the lie, and nodded. "Sure, you can come along, Saihara-chan! You are my unofficial bodyguard, after all!" Saihara simply nodded and smiled, but almost snapped inside. "Er, yeah... anyways, let's go."

Surely, if he was with him, nothing could happen, right?

Wrong. 

-

Everything seemed normal as the two entered the auditorium, with Yumeno waving to them from the stage. "Hello there! Ouma-san, Saihara-san, just the people I was looking for. I need a volunteer, and an audience to test my new trick out!" Saihara's blood ran cold. He had a feeling that if Ouma volunteered, he'd die, so before the leader could answer, he interrupted. "I'll be the volunteer, Yumeno-san."

Yumeno giggled, clapping her hands and walking off to the side, before dragging something eerily reminiscent of an iron maiden out from backstage. _That... would have likely... killed Ouma... and now it'll kill me._ Saihara shook off his dark thoughts, before stepping up onto the stage. "Just step into this, Saihara-san, and the disappearing act will be a showstopper! "D-Disappearing act?" Ouma looked worried. _No, don't look worried, I'll have succeeded in saving you..._

As the detective entered the device, Ouma was sure he saw a smile on his face.

-

Saihara held his breath, waiting for the spikes. The doors were closed now, and he knew there'd be spikes. There always were spikes in iron maidens, and this one would be no different. ...Right?

"Alright! Time for the disappearing act of the century! I hope you guys are ready!" He was ready. He wasn't sure if Ouma was, but... it had to do. "Let's get on with this!" Saihara's pretty sure he heard a click. Spikes in three... two... one...

"H-Hold on, what's this shadow-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

**CRASH.**

_...Oh no... Ouma..._

"Betcha didn't expect that! In this trick, the audience disappears!" The doors opened. Ouma was nowhere to be seen, but...

No, he was... under... what even WAS that? It's... just a mess of debris... _I failed... I was selfish, and could have saved him..._

_Please, give me one last try! I'll save him this time!_

The world went white again.

* * *

Saihara knew this situation by now. Ouma would be stabbed by Momota under suspicion of being the mastermind, and thrown into a hydraulic press and crushed. The only supporting evidence of his death would be one leg, hanging partially out of the machine.

He had to change fate this time. If he and Ouma couldn't survive together, then Ouma could survive without him, right?

The determination to save him allowed Saihara to race through the halls, nearly colliding with Kiibo along the way. "Saihara-san! Please, watch where you are going!"

He spared the robot a glance for an apology as he fought against time to reach his boyfriend in time to save him.

_This is it... This is where he died. He won't die here, not on my watch!_

Saihara threw open the door, spotting Ouma backed against the wall. He hadn't been stabbed yet, but... he could save him! Rushing in their direction, he made sure to push Ouma out of Momota's path. "KOKICHI! WATCH OUT!"

**STAB.**

"Sh-Shuuichi...?" The detective leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. He knew he was screwed, since he, well, now had a knife in his abdomen. "It's... fine, Kokichi... just get out of here... and run to the others... Be safe, alright? ...I love you." With that, he dropped to the ground, finally feeling at peace as he saw Ouma flee from the corner of his eye. _He's... going to make it. I don't have to loop time any more. He'll be fine._

The world went dark for Shuuichi Saihara, who closed his eyes one last time with a smile.

* * *

Ouma was still sprinting down the hallway, but his steps slowed until he stopped, before slumping against the wall, burying his head in his hands. "I couldn't save him... why did he have to die this time? I... I saved him every other time... why did it all loop around again? Why can't I get Shuuichi out of here?"

An epiphany struck, as his crying stopped. "...No. I WILL save him, no matter what it takes! I'm Ouma Kokichi, and I will save my boyfriend!" Ouma shouted to the air, as he closed his eyes, clenched his fists, and focused.

The world went white for Kokichi Ouma.


	2. Ouma's Loop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ouma's struggle against the hands of fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm ready to go to hell for this  
> it's been four months i know i kinda died but i got my bunnies back so i can write again maybe  
> hopefully this chapter makes up for the wait!
> 
> ~trigger warnings below~  
> -major character death (it's saihara dying a lot)  
> -suicide/suicidal thoughts  
> -the deaths could get graphic

His head was spinning. What had happened last night? Why did his body ache all over, as if he'd slept in a bad position?

He pushed the confusion aside, sitting up from his bed and stretching. He thought he just didn't sleep well, and that it would fade later in the day - There was no need to worry about it, anyways, as he was going to go see Saihara today.

* * *

By the time his head was clear enough to understand what was going on, he was halfway across the room, and Saihara had a knife in his abdomen. 

"It's... fine, Kokichi... just get out of here... and run to the others... Be safe, alright? ...I love you." Saihara dropped to the ground, and while Ouma truly did love him too, he couldn't let Saihara's sacrifice be in vain, so he ran. But... he'd failed again, hadn't he?

As he ran through the hallway, his head was flooded with memories. All of the many times Saihara had died, and his failure to save him each time.

With each memory, he slowed down, until coming to a halt in the middle of the hallway. His legs weren't going to hold him any more, so he leaned against the wall for support, eventually slumping down to the ground as he buried his head in his hands, starting to cry.

"I couldn't save him... why did he have to die this time? I... I saved him every other time... why did it all loop around again? Why can't I get Shuuichi out of here?"

He began to ramble to himself, with nobody around to hear him. Somehow, in all the past loops he'd been trapped in, he was able to save Saihara from a grisly fate. But somehow, he was pulled into yet another loop each time, dying each time to save his beloved.

Yet, he refused to give up. No matter how many times he was trapped in yet another iteration of their deaths, he would make sure that at least Saihara escaped this twisted school alive.

"...No. I WILL save him, no matter what it takes! I'm Ouma Kokichi, and I will save my boyfriend!"

He clenched his fists tightly, seeing the world go white. He'd failed this time, but he would make sure he could save him.

* * *

This time, they were back to the beginning of the killing game. Everyone was still alive. Maybe he could save everyone, and not just Saihara.

...But that flimsy, fragile hope died when he and Akamatsu found Amami dead in the library.

Okay, maybe Amami was doomed to die each time. Rather ironic, for someone with the talent of SHSL Survivor (he learned that in a loop where he made it long enough to learn it), Amami seemed to be the one dying the most out of them, tying with Saihara, the one he was trying to save.

But he could live with that. He played his part as usual, expecting Akamatsu to be executed again.

...

His heart stops when Saihara confesses, and any remnants of hope for that loop shatter when Monokuma appears and tells his comrades that yes, they voted correctly, Saihara is the killer.

He tries in vain to save him, reaching out desperately with Akamatsu as he's dragged away by a chain. He knows Saihara is innocent, but he wonders if she knows it too.

Ouma can't look at Saihara's corpse as he focuses, attempting to loop time again.

The world goes white, and he hears someone shout in shock. (Chabashira? Momota? Akamatsu?)

* * *

The next time he wakes up, he wastes no time attempting to find Saihara. Akamatsu's nowhere to be seen, so she and Amami are obviously dead at this point.

He passes Toujou, and flashes his usual smile at her, hoping she can't see his worry, as he asks her if she's seen Saihara around.

His heart skips a beat when she tells him that she hasn't seen him all day.

Asking the others yields the same result - He's nowhere to be found. (Right, if this is right after Akamatsu's death, he hasn't confessed to him yet.)

He silently thanks his skills when he breaks into Saihara's dorm, as it's the last place to search for a missing detective.

He's sure he must be having a bad nightmare when he sees the detective's shoes on the ground, his body dangling from a hastily put-together noose above a toppled chair, with a note on his bed.

_"I missed her too much. I can't do this."_

He screams, and the next thing he knows, half the school's in there, and Monokuma's mocking announcement plays over the speakers.

Ouma is still sobbing when his vision fades to white.

* * *

He jolts awake, looking at the board in his room.

Yonaga, Chabashira, and Shinguuji are with Toujou, Ryouma, Akamatsu, and Amami, so he has a general idea of what time it is.

He feels his cheeks. Fresh tear tracks - At this point, he's convinced he's in an endless cycle of nightmares, a series of controllable helplessness.

He doesn't leave his room for a while, contemplating giving up completely. If he can't save Saihara, maybe he should wait for him? Be dead already, so Saihara doesn't die lonely?

"No, I can't do that..." Because in the end, he can't. He can't give up, because he's a leader. He has to save Saihara, one way or the other. If he's dead, he can't save him.

He works up the energy to climb out of bed, make himself look presentable, and leave his room.

When he enters the library to read, he witnesses yet another scene akin to a nightmare.

Saihara and Shirogane are fighting, and their stances suggest it's a fight to the death - One of them isn't leaving this room alive.

And within the span of three minutes, Shirogane steals a knife Ouma didn't even know Saihara had - was he plotting to kill her? - and before Ouma can intervene and break up the fight, she's slashed the detective's throat open, blood spraying out onto her.

Ouma stands frozen in shock, unable to run when Shirogane turns to look at him.

He can't even scream as she steps closer with the bloodstained knife, but he sees his world go white again right as she plunges the knife into his chest.

* * *

Ouma wakes up with a phantom pain slowly ebbing away, and he knows right away that it's from Shirogane. 

At least it made the transition quicker, and now he knows how to save Saihara.

The past loops should have told him how - He and Saihara can't both survive, one of them has to die.

And if one of them has to die for the other to live, Ouma knew that Saihara wasn't going to be the one dying this time.

The border between dreams and reality was clear now. He knew that none of what happened was a dream.

But it would soon be a dream - A bad dream that would die with him. He was going to save Saihara.

* * *

When Harukawa shoots him with that arrow, and Momota agrees to work with him to save her, he never tells him about Saihara. Somehow, he feels as if everything is falling back into place, as if this was supposed to happen.

He still feels that as he lies down under the press, staring up at it.

And then it goes down, and he knows that it's the end.

"...I love you, Shuuichi."

The press crushes him, leaving nothing to be seen except a mass of blood, with the boy who died for his love having barely any physical trace.

* * *

As Momota falls out of the rocket, blood pouring from his mouth, five people stand, watching.

Yumeno, Harukawa, Kiibo, Shirogane... and Saihara, who can't help but hear Ouma saying "I love you" over and over in his head.

As if time had slipped back into place, and the despair-hazed school life would finally come to an end.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HHHHOOOOLY SHIT IT'S DONE! AND IT'S GOT MORE OF A PLOT NOW!
> 
> AND IT'S LINING BACK UP WITH CANON!  
> anyways, please comment and kudos if you liked it, and thanks for reading the update of despair-hazed school life!


End file.
